What My Animal Crossing Villagers Got Up to in the Last 10 Months When I Forgot I Owned a Switch

Remember a year ago? I certainly don’t. The last 12 months have all blurred together in my mind and all events seemed to have happened both yesterday and in March of 2020 simultaneously. Apparently it’s called a ‘trauma response,’ who knew. That said, if you happen to have better memory than I do, you might remember the early stage pandemic craze that was Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Released on March 20th, 2020, AC:NH was a life-saver for thousands of people around the world who suddenly found themselves trapped at home. Unfortunately, as time wore on and as things slowly started looking up, a lot of us forgot about our Animal Crossing islands and the villagers we had spent time collecting had to fend for themselves.

Jeff Bezos Renames Blue Origin Rocket ‘Icarus’ Ahead of July Launch

Next month, Jeffrey Preston Bezos alongside a crew made up of trained professionals, a contest winner, and his brother Mark will launch into space in Blue Origin’s first manned launch. Don’t believe us? Read this excerpt from CNN: Jeff Bezos will be flying to space on the first crewed flight of the rocket ship made by his space company, Blue Origin. The flight is scheduled for July 20th, just 15 days after he is set to resign as CEO of Amazon. And while this will solidify his place as King of the Billionaires, many have doubts about this action that will likely only grow after the newest announcement we just received. Apparently, Bezos has decided to rename the rocket from New Shepherd to ‘Icarus’ ahead of the July 20th launch.

Local Church ‘Celebrates’ Pride Month

(Somewhere in America) Hello, dear brothers and sisters, and welcome to today’s service. Now, today is a special day because it marks the first time in our church’s history that we are going to be acknowledging and celebrating Pride Month, as it is called. I know that some of you out there are worried about this, that our church has lost its way, but we want to emphasize that although we will have a rainbow flag up outside and will try to use more inclusive language, nothing will fundamentally change here at Holy Jesus Church and Events Center. Still, we know that you have questions about this, which is why we wanted to set aside some time to address them.