Over the last 4 years since his departure from the Late Show David Letterman has been biding his time and growing his beard. No one is quite sure where he has been since NBC released him into the wild, but it appears he has spent that time making powerful friends. Recently Letterman has been back in the spotlight with his new show on Netflix that just debuted a few weeks ago. It was on this show that Letterman posed a question so absurd, so unprecedented, that it must be reported. In the second taping, George Clooney was the special guest and after the opening pleasantries, Letterman looked at him and asked with fingers pressed together to his lips, “How much for that skull of yours?”
Ever the gentleman and suave individual, Clooney took the question in stride, hoping to move on from the subject. “Ha oh David, watch what you say about that. Now have I told you about my wife?”
“Enough about her George, I’m being incredibly serious. I’m not saying now, but at a future date, I would like to buy your skull. I think it will be a incredibly valuable relic in the world that will come next and I want to put all my money into this plan. So, how much?”
“Dave, this is really off, even for you. You should leave the weird humor to Eritas Daily, am I right guys?” Clooney was visibly perturbed. His usual cool-guy demeanor had fallen and a look of endless sorrow now filled his eyes. “Can we talk about this later? My agent told me this would be a puff gig.”
“As you know, George, I am have a considerable sum of money. Being on TV for as long as I have, I can do things that other people can’t. I have access to people you wouldn’t even dream that I knew, but I do. One of those great people is you. Is it that weird if I ask you for your skull?”
“Okay, let me just entertain your thought here Dave. What are we talking about? Like, you get my skull once I die?”
“I am looking to negotiate that with you, actually. I think we can get your skull out of you without you dying. I am looking to do this within the next few quarters, for financial reasons. You understand.”
“You know what Dave, I really don’t. This is over.” With that Clooney left the room. Letterman, ever the showman, simply monologued for 20 minutes to fill the time. Netflix has not released a comment about this awkward exchange, but at this time we believe that the friendship that we watched blossom before us over many years has dissolved. Will George be OK? Will Dave? It’s too early to tell.
Us on the other hand, really weirded out by the whole thing.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who doesn’t understand the Olympics. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.