Hey sport. We were really hoping it wasn’t going to have to come to this, but it looks like the only way you’re going to learn is if we finally face this head on. The group has tossed it back and forth on our group chat you’re not on. I guess now is a good time to apologize for that, too. But, to be fair, that group text only exists because of this situation, and it’s the only thing we talk about on there, so don’t feel like you’re missing out on any inside jokes. That’s not the point. The point is this:
Cereal isn’t a party food, and you need to stop bringing it.
“Hi, welcome to your appointment,” the woman behind the desk tells you as you enter. “Your hygienist will see you shortly.” After waiting for a few minutes, a woman dressed in scrubs comes out to greet you and leads you back into a room that is completely white and spotless from floor to ceiling. She asks you to sit down in the singular chair in the room as she begins to place a lead apron over you. “This will only take a second,” she says as she asks you to bite down on an object that resembles a phone from an 80s sci-fi film. After a few seconds, she whispers “All done,” in your ear as she disappears behind a curtain, leaving you alone for the first time.
(Memphis, TN) One of the best things about the United States is the sheer size of the country (tied with Canada for 2nd largest) and all the bizarre attractions contained in the 3.8 million square miles that most citizens have never seen, much less heard of. Today, we will be taking a closer look at one of these attractions, one that many know simply as ‘The Memphis Pyramid.’ Currently owned and operated by Bass Pro Shop, it is the 10th tallest pyramid in the world and can be found right in the middle of America. While some have seen this from the highway while passing through town and others have actually visited, most Americans live in blissful ignorance of its existence. Turns out this might be intentional.