Area Man Accidentally Uses Same Language to Describe Both His Car & His Girlfriend


(Danville, VA) Has this ever happened to you? God we hope not. Last week, while out with some friends at a local bar, Brad Gibson was telling his friends a story about his girlfriend and what a wonderful person she is. During this story, Brad used language like ‘tough,’ ‘fired up,’ and ‘a real game-changer’ to describe his girlfriend Lisa’s recent efforts to organize protest marches at city hall. This was all fine and dandy. It wasn’t until 2 hours later, a couple of drinks in, and now accompanied by said girlfriend, that Brad used the exact same language to talk about the recent improvements he had made to his Dodge Challenger. And you better believe his friends weren’t gonna let that one go.


To help set the scene in your mind, imagine a Buffalo Wild Wings. OK, we’re good on that front.


Next, picture the look on Brad’s friend’s faces when they realize what a mistake he had made. They all love both him and Lisa, but this was clearly more important than all that. Before he could stop them, Krevin turned to Lisa and asked, “Did you hear that Lisa? He loves his new car. In fact,” at this point he could hardly keep from laughing, “I think he wants to marry it.” With this, the table erupted into laughter. That is, everyone except Brad and Lisa, who looked stunned and confused respectively.


While Brad was too shocked to speak, Lisa asked, “Why is that so funny?”


“I think Brad should be the one to tell you,” answered Jada with a wide grin.


“I- It’s not going to sound good,” started Brad. “I’m feel like I should start by apologizing.”


“For what?”


“I might have used the same words to describe you earlier.. As I did Keisha.”


“Keisha? Keisha your car?”


“Uh, yeah. Again, I’m so sorry.”


“No no, it’s fine. I hope you’re very happy together.” Lisa replied, looking at Brad with a blank expression.


“It was an accident. Please don’t be mad.”


“Sorry Brad, unlike Keisha I’m not so easily swayed. I need to process this in my own time, mmk? Let’s just finish our drinks.”


The rest of the night was spent in relative silence while the games on the TV screens blared on. Even when the waiter brought out the loaded potato skins, no one cracked a smile. Slowly, as games ended and the real drunks began to come in, people slowly shuffled out, leaving Lisa and Brad there alone, staring at each other.


Some say they are still there to this day.






This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who is glad that it is October and will continue to be for the rest of time. Haven’t you heard?


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