Have you seen this Content?
Everybody is going nuts for this Content!
You know who loves this Content? She does! You want impress this girl (or a girl like this), right? No better way than by consuming this Content!
This girl is consuming the Content right now! Look at how she smiles. This is how you know the quality of the Content! You could smile like that. You could be displaying your chompy biters for the world to see right now, if only you were consuming the Content!
Content is King! Or so they say. Maybe it’s time that Content was Queen, am I right?
If you were to slam your knockers on this big red key that says BEST CONTENT you would receive the Content because the Content is the BEST CONTENT available right now.
This Content is going to jump out at you! Don’t let you guard down, you never know when the Content is going to come right out of the computer and fight your trash can.
Don’t be like this idiot who consumes the Media. The Media is the worst thing you could consume! Consume the Content! Consume the Content! Conssssuuuuuuuuummmmmmeeeeeee ittttttttttt. CONSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUMMMMEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
You’re gonna want to show this Content to all of your hot co-workers as soon as you consume the Content! They will value you you as a friend if you are the person to show them this Content. Don’t mess it up like you did with Monica.
If you don’t engage with our RELATABLE CONTENT soon then we might have to bring this box marked “Content” to your house and beat you with it. Maybe even shove it down your open maw so that you consume our RELATABLE CONTENT.
This Content won’t last long. This is a limited-time offer on the Content. Better consume the Content already, right?
Consume it. Cooooooooooonnnnnnnsssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmeee.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes you ENGAGE with the RELATABLE CONTENT he is CREATING for you, the TARGET AUDIENCE. Follow him for more TWEETS on Twitter @NPEllwood.