Say What? Man Gets Turned Down, Doesn’t Turn into a Raging Misogynistic Hulk Monster


(Washington, D.C.) We all know the background of the vibrant city that is Washington, D.C. From its designation at the United States capital in 1800, to the establishment of the Smithsonian, to that time Nicolas Cage stole The Declaration of Independence, the city has seen everything; and yet, it was in the countenance of an everyday, jorts-wearing white guy that history was really made.


Just last week, Lee Johnson, aged 32, went on an ill-fated Tinder date.


“I really tried to put my best foot forward,” Johnson, a native of Montgomery, Alabama, said in our awe-inspiring and gut-wrenching interview. “My Tinder bio had a shirtless pic of me holding a puppy and everything!”


The couple met up at a local Starbucks, one of the approximately one kajillion the bustling city has to offer. When asked why they didn’t have a first date at a location that would be considered more romantic, Johnson said that “Starbucks was her idea. I guess I should’ve seen it coming.”


And come it did. When the date ended, and the woman didn’t respond to Johnson’s thirteen consecutive follow-up messages, he decided to take a hint. Rather than fill her intray with degrading messages of the quality that so many of us have received, though, Johnson decided to just leave it.


“I just wanted to prove to myself and to others that it could be done,” Johnson said. “Plus, I’ve heard that ladies are getting pretty ballsy these days and make fun of guys who do that on the internet for anybody to see, and I don’t want that to happen to me.”


Maybe it’s lucky for us ladies that Johnson is still on the market; after all, he’s not in a rush. “It’s not my biological clock ticking! I have plenty of time to find somebody to go on adventures with.”





This article was written by Maggie McAlister, who has sent screenshots to a guy’s mom before and will do it again. Don’t screw with her. You can follow her on Twitter @madmaggs21.

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