(Brooklyn, NY) Local sage and enlightened individual, Kleith Hendrix, was settling in for a quiet Sunday evening of reading and whiskey sniffing. He had recently been brought into the world of whiskey sniffing by his close friend, Craeg, who owned a used unicycle store down the street. Kleith looked over his selection of books and decided that it was about time to read Infinite Jest again. This would be Kleith’s third time through the tome and he knew he would learn something new just like he had on read-throughs 1 and 2.

This screwball comedy of a novel first came into Hendrix’s life in college when a friend told him it would “rock his world.” He locked himself up in the library one weekend and blazed through the entire thing on a caffeine-fueled tear. He was so sleep deprived by the end that he actually hallucinated that David Foster Wallace came into the room he was in and slapped him across the face before lecturing him for an hour on letting the entertainment industry own his life.

The second time that Kleith had experimented with the post-postmodernist work was when his girlfriend broke up with him after he cheated on her with the idea of growing a beard. He was in a different mood reading the tragicomedy this time, more Jest than Infinite, if you know what I mean. This time he took a few months to read the book, but he liked it that way. Like enjoying a cold soup, you don’t want to rush into it, so Kleith felt that he was turning into Hal Incandenza himself by reading the piece over a long period of time.

This time he had decided to pick up the book for another spin after visiting his first son in the hospital, who had just been born. He was feeling especially human and wanted to get lost in the satirical tale to avoid his new responsibilities.

“Beats changing a diaper,” he thought to himself, and jumped into the book, hardly lifting his head for air for the next 8 hours.

Kleith did want us to let you know that he has an art exhibition coming up that he wants you to come to. The location and time are currently a secret, but once we figure out the Riddle of the Crow Man’s Tongue, we’ll get right on letting you know how to get there. Get ready for a lot of abstract breathing exercises.

This article was written Nathan Ellwood, who prefers The Bad Beginning to Infinite Jest, but to be fair, it is a better book. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.