It’s Time for Some Ominous Jeb! Tweets!


(Somewhere in Florida) We are not sure what has prompted this, but it appears that Jeb! Bush has decided to take on the world in the same way that his nemesis Doynard Trimp has: tweeting. At 3:13am on Wednesday, November 22nd Jeb! began an all out attack on everything from our current economic climate to the fact that we still don’t have a station on the moon. Thus proving an earlier Jeb! theory that we have never been to the moon at all. However, after the first few tweets were fired off, Jeb! took a turn for the ominous.

Now, before we get into what he said, we quickly wanted to review that being ominous is not anything new with Jeb! He has been playing the ominous card on Twitter for quite awhile.

Here he is in 2015 with a haunting message.


I’ve spent many nights of restless sleep trying to crack that one.

Or there was that time in 2016 when he sent everyone a picture of his gun.


Scholars debated for weeks what Jeb! meant by this. Was he going to shoot America? Can Jeb! shoot all of America with his gun? No man should have that kind of power.

Here he is on [REDACTED] when he got in a feud with [REDACTED] about who isn’t or isn’t allowed in the [REDACTER] void.


Dwayne Wade was never the same.

And here he is just a week ago with on of his more ominous tweets until the early morning ones he fired off today.


I am biting my nails right now, my guy. I am deeply perturbed by these tweets and the ones that followed.

Soon after they were written, the following tweets were deleted by the Jeb! team, but thankfully we had an intern with a photographic memory download them from her cloud, so we were able to save them. Here they are, for the world to see.

November 22nd. 3:13 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: I tried to warn you when you had the chance. 

November 22nd. 3:14 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: He is approaching. The end has already begun. 

November 22nd. 3:16 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: There is nothing more we can do. 

November 22nd. 3:18 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: When the annals of history remember this day, let them know that a prophet rose among you to tell of the fore-coming darkness. For I have been a leper shouting in the desert, a man cast out of his village and into the desert. I’ve been wandering around the desert a lot lately is really what I am trying to say. 

November 22nd. 3:19 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: Shout out to 280 characters ya boi Jeb! has stuff to say. 

November 22nd. 3:21 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: His anger is unending and his ruthlessness knows no bounds. Do not scream the name Jeb! when the time of your end comes, for I will look down at you from my place among the gods and you will weep, knowing I could have saved you. 

November 22nd. 3:24 AM, @Jeb! tweeted: Sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime gggggooooooooodddddddd

Truly, the mind of a man who knows a thing or two about building the action. Will Jeb!’s prophecy turn out to be true? Who cares!

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who wishes he could see the future that Jeb! can. Follow him for less ominous but nonetheless Jeb! related tweets @NPEllwood.


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