Note: this piece is best read while wearing rainbow color butterfly hair clips, at least one pink scrunchie, combat boots, and your favorite Smackers lip gloss (you know the one, it’s sticky and goopy and tastes AMAZING).
Aires (March 21 – April 19):
Destiny’s Child “Independent Woman, Pt. 1”
Straightforward and blunt, you know what you want and won’t settle, which is just the way it should be Aires!
Question: Tell me how you feel about this?/Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Taurus (April 20 – May 20):
Taurus, you don’t lay down in a confrontation of any sort. You get back up and you push back until you don’t have to anymore.
After all of the fights and the lies ‘cause you’re wanting to haunt me/But that won’t work any more, no more/It’s over
Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
You’re most comfortable when you’re glowing, Gemini; you can’t make everyone like you, and you know that, and you’re fine with it.
So you say I’m complicated/That I must be out of my mind/But you’ve had me underrated/What’s wrong with being confident?
Cancer (June 21 – July 20):
Kesha, “Let ‘Em Talk” (ft. The Eagles of Death Metal)
Cancer, your ability to deal with things as they come to you with grace and humor is a defining trait; you don’t put up with garbage from anybody. You also probably come with a parental advisory warning for language use.
You, you got your own opinions/But baby, I don’t even need to hear ‘em/It used to hurt me, used to bring me down/Do your worst, ‘cause nothing’s gonna stop me now/Don’t let those loser take you magic, baby, yeah
Leo (July 21 – August 21)
Lin-Manuel Miranda, “The Schuyler Sisters”
Leo, you’re a fighter because you care about those around you; you wouldn’t be so quick to push back if you were the only person drawing the short straw, but since others are getting hurt, you’re ready to be there.
I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine/Some men say that I’m intense or I’m insane/You want a revolution? I want a revelation/So listen to my declaration/We hold these truths to be self-evident/That all men are created equal/And when I meet Thomas Jefferson/Imma compel him to include women in the sequel
Virgo (August 22 – September 22)
Superchick, “One Girl Revolution (Battle Mix)”
Like Aries, you know what you want Virgo. Your ferocity and independent strength guide you to your own peace and a spirit of service.
I’ll shoot the shot, bang/That you heard round the world/I’m a one girl revolution
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin, “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves”
Libra, your charm and intelligence help you to keep balance in life; you know just how far to push and when to sit back and let your sisters take the stage.
Now this is a song to celebrate/The conscious liberation of the female state/Mothers, daughters, and their daughters too/Woman to woman/We’re singing with you/The inferior sex got a new exterior/We got doctors/lawyers/politicians too
Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)
You aren’t fooled by anyone’s misogynistic Good Guy fedoras, Scorpio, and you aren’t willing to let them think they’ve pulled one over on you.
Mama always told me that I should play nice/But she didn’t know you when she gave me that advice/I’m through with you/You’re one bridge I’d like to burn/Bottle up the ashes, smash the urn
Sagittarius (November 23 – December 20)
Cyndi Lauper, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
Sagittarius, life has tried to kick you down more than once, but it’s your never-ending spirit of optimism and enthusiasm that gets you through.
Some boys take a beautiful girl/And hide her away from the rest of the world/I want to be the one to walk in the sun/Oh girls they wanna have fun
Capricorn (December 21 – January 19)
Capricorn, your ambition and wisdom can make you seem intimidating, which is probably good; people should know that you need to be taken seriously, and you are under no circumstances to be messed with.
They love the way I walk/‘Cause I walk with a vengeance/And they listen to me when I talk/‘Cause I ain’t pretendin’
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You inspire others, Aquarius; if there’s an uprising to be had, you’ll be at the forefront, and the rest of us will have your back.
When she talks, I hear the revolution/In her hips, there’s revolutions/When she walks, the revolution’s coming/In her kiss, I taste the revolution
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces, your rose-colored glasses don’t keep you from being realistic, but they do help you survive the messiness of day-to-day life. You are here to love and to be loved, freely.
They tell us from the time we’re young/To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves/Inside ourselves/I know I’m not the only one/Who spent so long attempting to be someone else/Well I’m over it
This article was written by Maggie McAlister, who we are pretty sure was The Lady of the Lake in a past life. Follow her for more benevolent outpourings on Twitter @MadMaggs21.