Tired of Those Pesky Old Thoughts? Google is Offering a New Service Where You Can ‘Pause’ Your Brain


(Silicon Valley, Planet Google Alpha) According to reports coming from inside the tech giant’s office, Google is apparently working on a project that allows users to ‘pause’ or ‘take a break’ from their mind. In the first video explaining the technology, the tag line seems to be “Tired of those pesky thoughts? Get a Google Brain and take it easy.” While some are already calling this controversial and problematic, others have quickly come to Google’s defense, stating that “they would love for them to have their mind controlled by Google. It would be an honor, in fact.” Who knows? Maybe this is what we all have been looking for.


I mean, I don’t want to speak for everyone, but I believe we all have our little bouts of the blues. I understand that you might want to let your mind wander while you might otherwise have to focus on something unpleasant like doing your job or driving or whatever. I get it, is all I am saying. But on the other hand, this is absolutely bananas.


Like, Google expects me to believe that if I let them have control over my mind for just a little while, only when I want, that they will not eventually use that against me? Against the world? I’ve seen movies. The Matrix is a fav. I am not about it, my guy. And for what? To relax? Just get a hobby, dude. Take a chill pill if you need to, you know? Don’t lend all control of your self to a machine or a corporation. They do not have your best interests at heart. They will sell your brain for a slightly bigger boat. And then ride that boat off a cliff because no one else has ever done that before.


What I am saying, is don’t give in just yet. I think we have a little bit more fight in us, don’t you? Are we not independent enough to not lend ourselves to the whims of what is ultimately at this point nothing more than an algorithm. What happened is our mind was slowly destroyed by the amount of information we were taking in. They knew we wouldn’t be able to handle it. They must have.


And now, to escape the hell that they have created, they are going to charge us a fortune for them to steal our minds. What kind of sick deal with the devil is that. Please, I am begging you, don’t give up just yet. Don’t relinquish your mind.


We have to keep fighting. We can’t be done yet.






This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes you know what your plans are on Saturday. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.




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