Picture it. The man of your dreams. You Man Crush Monday. What does he do for you? He cares for you. He understands you. He holds the door open for you and doesn’t think twice when offered the chance to be kind. It’s nothing of a secret, it’s simply hard to find when it comes to men. You want someone who is different, who actually gives a damn. Well guess what, you know you who you are describing? My dad. That’s right. The one you’ve been waiting for has been right underneath your nose this whole time, and he was reading a book about World War 2.

Obviously I am not saying you should literally date my dad. Please don’t misinterpret me. I am saying you should date someone who is like my dad. Let me put this way, your MCM is my dad. When you think of someone who you have a crush on, often despite not knowing them or knowing them too well, you have this ideal image of them. My dad is that image. He is the one you hold others up to and compare. If they don’t measure up, they don’t make the cut.

You want a man who respects women. A man that would do anything for women. A man that has a history of class and grace. Again, you are simply describing my dad. And you know what? Maybe that’s ok. Maybe men today need to take the time to learn these things themselves, without someone there to hold their hand. Maybe they should take a page out of my dad’s book on do it simply for the goodness of it. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to be looking for such extraordinary men that aren’t doing anything all that special.

Because in the end, your MCM isn’t actually my dad. You want someone that has the potential to mold into a person like my dad. But character takes time and you don’t feel like waiting. So get out there and find someone that makes you happy, that meets you halfway, that isn’t afraid of honesty.

And when you find them? Don’t ever let them go. Keep them with you in all scenarios. Don’t let them leave your site. You need to know them, to know their soul. Walk into the desert with them, join the vision quest. There is nothing out here, not even water. You must will yourself to a better ending, you must strive on, together. You need someone who will accept this challenge. You need someone who will plunge into the heart of it and come back victorious.

Whoops, I am just talking about my dad again. My bad.

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes this wasn’t too confusing. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.