Nation Begs For New Obelisk


(Astral Planes, USA) Can you hear it? The subtle grumbling of the universe. The growing thunder of a thousand mouths begging for a new messiah. The quaking of a nation that has gone too long without being fulfilled. I’ll ask you again: can you hear it? That is the sound of a nation that although divided, has come together for a common cause. For one purpose, and one purpose only, to beg for a new obelisk. According to their official press release, they are looking for “any old obelisk,” but they preferably would like a new one by “early 2019.” With all eyes on our leaders, what will the future hold?

Let’s ask a few wondering souls out here on the astral planes what they think about all of this.

Larry Filmore, 225. I have been waiting my entire life (and then some) for a new obelisk. Of course I am excited about the prospect of a new one here in the country. I think we need to all take a step back from our lives, from our work, and from our passions, to get back to our roots of clamoring to the top of an obelisk for the chance at becoming God. That’s the country I know and love, I say we bring it back. 

Lucious Declar, 856. I remember the obelisk and what it did to my livelihood, but I am one of just a handful who were around back then and have the ability to tell our story. I will not bow down to another obelisk. I would rather let the void take me home finally, after all these long years, than ever allow myself to be controlled by such a tyrannical beast. I will not have it. 

Julianne Claw, 43. Here’s the deal, I don’t care. Just going to say that right now. Obelisk or no, we have more problems than just what to do with our free time, we are in the middle of a war right now. If we don’t defend ourselves, it will be too late and the roaches will win. Enjoy your obelisk or don’t, but I’ve got my eye on the prize, and it that prize is a world without roaches. 

Jordy Palmers, 505. Pleeeeaaaassseeeeeeeee bring the Days of Obelisk back. We didn’t know what we had until it was gone. Every morning I wake up and curse the sky that you took my obelisk away from me, and every afternoon I plan your demise. We will see this through no matter what traps you lay before us. This has been a warning. 

Latince Bittenbinder, 439. I’m just excited to climb up that bad boy and jump straight off of it into a tiny pool. It’s going to be great. 

Per usual, a pretty wide spread. Thanks again for tuning in, we’ll update you on the obelisk as we all learn the future together.

This article hasn’t been written yet, but thanks to this person for the dope art. Go check out their work. Follow the author, Nathan, on Twitter @NPEllwood.

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