Each of us, at some point in our life, discover something that will fundamentally change who we are as a person. Sometimes this is your grandfather’s watch, found long after your last words were spoken, hidden on the shelf in that room you never enter. Other times it’s when you discover a secret deep down within yourself that even you hadn’t believed in. But, most often, psychologists have discovered, this grand reveal is found upon a human’s first true understanding of spinny chairs. So, think back: when did you learn about spinny chairs?
We went around our staff writing room here at Eritas to get a few example stories for this piece. What follows are those stories, unedited.
Lindsey Pistachio, Editor: My first internship was with the municipal water supply. I had different dreams as a teenager and there was nothing I wanted more than to be involved in the process of moving water. Don’t get hung up on this, it’s not important. That summer, I found my first spinny chair in conference room C and I felt a rush of blood to the head. I was in love. I would steal away to that room often, pursuing my summer fling. It taught me a lot about myself.
Gregg Lizard, Staff Writer: I first came across a spinny chair when I was just 5 years old, but I didn’t fully learn and understand what a spinny chair was until I was closer to 14. I just saw it as a mode of transportation until one day, I used the spinny chair just for the fun of it. This was the watershed moment. I love watersheds.
Jill Crest-Whitestrip, Junior Editor: Wouldn’t you know it, it was actually my first week here at the paper. Somehow, I had gone my entire life without encountering one, but there it was, my very in own spinny chair. I could hardly believe it. That single moment gave me faith in my own abilities. I am who I am because of that chair, whether it knows it or not.
Leo Trillcop, Staff Writer: Listen, I don’t want to talk about it, OK? I will admit that it did fundamentally change me as a person, but not in the way I wanted. I became someone I never wanted to be. I hate me and I’m not saying anything more. Stop making me write this. I want to live on a mountaintop where I belong.
Jermaine Gumdrop, Staff Writer: I wouldn’t be who I am without Carlos’s Spinny Chairs, down on 52nd Ave. I get all of my fundamental epiphanies down their at Carlos’s and I know you will too! So come down this Saturday and use the promo code: JERM for 15% off. This is not a sponsored post, just a big fan.
Want to share your spinny chair story? Shout it into your shower drain later tonight, we’ll hear it and publish it if we find it moving enough. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, that’s just how we do things here.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, the nerd with the herd of sheep you see wandering in the dusk. Don’t worry, we won’t be in your memory for long. Follow him @NPEllwood.