Some like it hot. Others like it really, really hot; like, dry ice. Things are bound to get steamy as we reveal the definitive list of wintry villains known to disarm protagonists and seduce audiences with their oh-so chill demeanor.
1. Snow Miser
Born from the brilliant minds of Rankin/Bass, Snow Miser stars in The Year Without a Santa Claus opposite to his not-so-luckily-endowed brother Heat Miser. And since Christmas is wonderful and routinely saturated in cheerful tunes, he enters the story in song.
Yes, I did source the HD version of this for you. It was very important to me.
There are a few facts we can gather from this introduction, one being that Mr. Icicle here is simply too much. Yet, he’s barred from physical connection as whatever he touches turns to snow—desirable and unobtainable. The cherry on top: He’s serving mega Ted Danson vibes.
After Mrs. Claus now? You’re too bad, Ice Miser. 😉
2. Professor Coldheart
Pale, blue, and intelligent too, Professor Coldheart won our hearts and warmed our loins as the antagonist of The Care Bears in the Land Without Feelings, released in April of 1983.
Here, I will cite the man himself via Twitter:
Two truths: I did follow him, and I do hope he follows back.
That’s the plot. Coldheart is the refined, unemotional man so many of us have gone after only to realize the pursuit of said relationship merely served to mirror deeper issues of self worth or lack thereof. Just me?
Either way, there’s something especially attractive about this frosty-haired scholar and his knack for creative problem solving in the face of unwanted sentimentality: “There’s no need to cry or whine. I’ll refrigerate those feelings.”
In Disney’s Hercules, I’ll argue that the Titans don’t receive as much screen time as they rightly deserve. In fact, I was not aware of this Titan’s proper name and instead originally listed it here as “Icicle Titan.” I am ashamed.
Before Zeus came along, Hydros was one of four Titans spreading chaos across the world. Although he doesn’t utter a single word in the film, his silence speaks volumes. This quiet stud should be better beloved for his cool gait and blizzard kisses.
Receiving the additional screen time he deserves in Kingdom Hearts: The Last Stand.
4. The Original White Witch
The Chronicles of Narnia is a BBC-produced television serial that was aired from November 1988 to December 1990. Assuming most of you have only seen the Disney adaptation, just know this film is approximately 83 percent of the same (estimation purported by Disney scholar Richard Tyler).
Except, I’m here to report that Barbara Kellerman is the far superior White Witch, refusing Turkish delights with a fearsome howl.
Her take-charge attitude leaves us clamoring for more. Although Barbara has been MIA since 2007, we’re desperately hoping she’ll return to the screen to take up her rightful place as queen in the eventual Netflix Original version of Narnia.
5. Isis Vanderchill
Poorly aged name aside, Vanderchill is the frosty villainess we’ve always needed. Her sole appearance was in the twenty-eighth episode of Darkwing Duck, “All’s Fahrenheit in Love and War.” She undergoes experimental surgery to halt the aging process, but freezes her blood instead. From there, she’s on the search for warmth. She’s a pro at multitasking, flirting with Darkwing to no end while coating the city in melted gold to reflect the sunlight and heat things up.
It takes time for Isis to fall in love with her body, and it’s that very journey that makes us swoon. What’s sexier than a goal-oriented woman developing body confidence? Answer: zilch.
This article was written by Holly Ratcliff who’s always had a thing for Dark Heart. Holly studied poetry at Texas State University. Her literary research is available through the Texas State Undergraduate Research Journal: “‘Too much water hast thou, poor Ophelia’: An Object-Oriented Reading of Hamlet.” Twitter/Instagram: @HollytheHare
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