In our day to day lives, it can be hard to do new things and push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Humans form habits to make sense of the chaos around us and that’s just a part of life that we all have to get used to, so get over it. However, when we get stuck in these grooves that guide us through life, it can be difficult to see the big picture and get the perspective that you undoubtedly need. Today, we’re here to give you that perspective. Your life is missing something and we have the answer, the lost puzzle piece. But tell me first, how are you challenging the perception of your corporeal form today?
Oh you’re being? You’re being and are perceived? Grow up.
This is the first path to enlightenment and trust me, this stuff works. Let me break it down for you. In the beginning of life, we were all floating around as a formless gas that had no worries, no problems, and no careers. It was bliss. Now, experts have discovered that the closest we can get to achieving that level of inner peace is by surrendering ourselves to oblivion and trying our best to spend much thought on our own existence. We are, after all, nothing but brains piloting a skin suit.
There are a few ways you can find the balance you are seeking where you feel like nothing but dust in the wind. Almost all of them are inconvenient or expensive. The preferred method is a sensory deprivation chamber, but those haven’t caught on yet. We dream of a future where there will be sensory deprivation chambers in every household in America and you can hold us to that.
Alas, for now we have to work with what is available to us. So here are some suggestions.
- Go to the top of a parking garage in the middle of the night and close your eyes.
- Lay in a field of wheat and stare at a particular star in the night sky. Say it’s name again and again.
- Wrap yourself in every blanket you own and put multiple fans on blast aimed directly at you.
- Hang from the monkey bars at your elementary school play ground.
- Drink the puddle on the street outside your house.
Try these and let us know how they work out!
And don’t forget to not exist whenever you can.
This was written by Nathan Smellwood, who ate the last piece of lamb. Sorry. Follow him @NPEllwood.