With just four weeks left until the series finale of HBO’s Game of Thrones, we’ve decided to take time out of our day to gather around and recall our favorite moments from the show. I shared my first experiencing seeing a live demon birth on television and all of the complicated emotions that brings, Johnny told us the story of how he thought dragons were real because of the show, it was a total nerd-fest. But then, just as we were about to move on to actually sit down and write the article, an envelope was slid under our office door. Inside, we found a list of all of the house mottos from the show. So, we decided to rank our favorites and make that the article instead.
10. House Amber – “Our Toes Grow Mold.”
Now, at first this doesn’t seem like a good house motto, but then you start to think about it and it kind of creeps you out. Unsettles you. Look, all I am saying is that it could work to your advantage.
9. House Harclay – “Moon’s Looking Bright Tonight, Huh.”
A classic diversion tactic. You see, the Harclay’s are a notoriously cowardly house and use their house motto to distract people long enough to make a quick getaway. The funny part is that it usually works.
8. House Middlebury – “Strong Bones, Strong Homes.”
Apparently in medieval literature, both strong bones and strong homes are something to be envied. We just like it because it’s catchy.
7. House Jast – “Enter the Megadome.”
We aren’t really sure what this means or refers to, but I got goosebumps.
6. House Wythers – “Take a Left at King’s Landing, Can’t Miss It.”
A relatively small house, the Wythers decided to make their house words more informative and practical than symbolic, making be able to find their keep as simple as remembering their words. Brilliant.
5. House Stackhouse – “The End is Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.”
You have to say it like that, with 21 Is. Also, kind of a rip off of House Stark, but whatever.
4. House Pemford – “Mud, Mud, and, You Guessed It, Mud.”
At least they have a sense of humor about being from the riverlands, right? Most of those houses can be real grumps.
3. House Foote – “Love is the Answer.”
Known as the hippie house of Westeros, House Foote has never once taken land from another house or done anything but bend the knee. However, they’ve also never caused anyone harm, so they have survived and even thrived by being so peaceful. Maybe they got something figured out.
2. House Ironmaker – “Thunderfist!”
Screamed in battle, used as a greeting, said to a lover, this house motto is perfect for any situation. But, it’s got nothing on our ultimate champion.
1. House Ruthermont – “The Starfish Will Rise and Claim the Land That Was Stolen From Them. We Must Always Stay Vigilant and Monitor Starfish Levels in Nearby Seas to Make Sure We Aren’t Caught Unaware. Some Pray for the Starfish to Come, They Think They Will Be On Our Side, But They Are Fools. Reject the False Prophets, Kill All the Starfish You Can Find.”
I mean, it speaks for itself.
And that’s it! Thanks for reading.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who was clearing out the old notes folder and felt this was appropriate. Follow him @NPEllwood.