If you haven’t had your head up the rear-end of the liberal fake news media recently, you’ll have noticed that there has been a mass murder spree across the nation in the past few years. First, they came after our mayonnaise. Then, our breastaurant chain owners, our sports bar chains, our pornography, our credit cards, divorce, AMERICAN. CHEESE., THE AMOUNT OF DUI ARRESTS, TEENAGE PREGNANCY RATES, BOXES!, door-to-door salesmen, red wine, the McWrap™, golf, big beer & big tobacco, letting the police just get away with WHATEVER they want, hell, letting government officials and celebrities get away with whatever they want! Are you terrified of millennials yet? You should be.
But now, they’re killing the one unifying factor, the one element that we could at one time use to unify all Boomers on: hating the millennials. How are they doing this?
Well, they’re just … not making more millennials. They’re either not having children at all (an affront to HUMANITY), or they’re having a whole new breed of terrifying Human Rights Proponents: Gen Z’ers. These new Gen Z’ers are the ones that we should really keep an eye on, with their walking out of school to protest being shot at and the world being “burned” by so-called “climate change”. They’re tech proficient and they have no respect for Our Hallowed Ways. And it’s all the fault of the millennials, with their lofty ideals and exhaustion. Just when we almost wore them down, the Gen Z’ers rose from the ashes.
Prepare, Boomers. The millennials have killed the millennial industry, and in their place is a generation far, far more dangerous to our way of life.
This article was written by Maggie McAlister, a proud and tired Millennial who has immense respect for the Gen Z’ers, and can’t wait to see what they do next. You can hit her up on Twitter @madmaggs21 if you know of any more funny things that millennials have been blamed for murdering.