Um, hi there. Claire here. I don’t know exactly who will be reading this, but consider this a call for help. At the moment, I am typing through a program in the Walgreens cash register that I am currently hiding behind as something has happened that I wasn’t exactly trained on at my 20 minute orientation for this job. A large, black wolf has entered the store and is currently pacing back and forth in the photo collection area. I do not know what to do. I repeat, I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am going to continue typing into this machine like Michael in Lost just hoping that Walt or someone, anyone, is on the other side.
I didn’t want to alarm anyone with the opening, just wanted to give an overview of the situation, but there is something I need to disclose. I have been stealing money out of the cash register for months and I need to tell someone about it in case I die today. I know this may not seem like a big deal to you, but where I am from, a thief’s word can’t be trusted.
OK, now that I’ve bared my soul to you, here is an update on the situation. I have lost eye contact with the wolf and oh god it is so much worse than I thought. When I could look at the wolf in the eyes, at least I knew where it was. Now, I have no idea. It could be going after a pharmacist as I type this, I would have no idea.
Oh god. I can see a few other employees either hiding in the rafters or behind their respective counters. I know it is my responsibility to make sure that they exit safely, being as I am closest to the front door, but I just want to make a break for it and lock the doors. Is that terrible of me? I just don’t want people to be upset with me. I want to make friends here at my job.
I think I’m gonna go for it. If you are reading this, know that I threw a couple of packs of cigarettes as a distraction to help the others and then I booked it. I didn’t love this job, but I did love life, and isn’t that enough?
This has been the Wolf in Walgreens.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes that Kylo Ren chokes on a peanut in the next Star Wars movie.