When you have watched hundreds of Jeopardy! episodes like I have, you start to pick up on trends, both in terms of contestants and Alex Trebek’s various moods and attitudes. Now when I watch an episode, I can pick out who will win with a 93% accuracy rate just from seeing their initial introduction at the beginning of the show. You see, over the years I have perfected my system of predicting winners and am going to give you the perfect example of that today. If you are ever in a scenario where you are betting on the outcomes of a Jeopardy! match and a contestant is wearing a bow tie, pick them. That bow tie says “I’m out for blood. Watch out.”
Regardless of gender, if a contestant is wearing a bow tie, it means they are teaming to the brim with bloodlust. In my years of watching Jeopardy! every time someone was wearing a bow tie, there was this cold, dead look in their eyes that told me everything I needed to know about their character and, more importantly, their playing style. These are the sort of folks that will tell a nothing story about their job and then proceed to run three categories in a row just to show Jennifer next to them who’s boss.
Bow tiers, as I call them, are the type of Jeopardy! player to always go for the True Daily Double, no matter the score. This alone is an intimidation tactic, as it puts other players on edge and gives you the chance to buzz in before them. Along with that, if you are half-decent at Jeopardy! you have the chance to double your score several times throughout the game. Let me put it this way: even if James Holzhauer never actually wore a bow tie on the show, he had bow tie energy throughout his entire legendary run.
Probably the most savage example of the Bow Tie Rule, as I am now calling it, was a trans woman named Jacey who, a few years ago pulled out an incredibly small blow-dart gun from her snazzy bow tie and proceeded to eliminate both of her opponents with precise darts to the jugular. This was allowed to continue and Jacey ended up with a top ten all-time score due to an ancient Jeopardy! bylaw that allows weapons as long as they are smaller than a bread box.
However, the Bow Tie Rule doesn’t just apply to contestants. If you ever see Trebek wearing a bow tie himself, you know it’s going to be a ruthless game. He has decimated contestants before for the simplest of mistakes without a shred of remorse, all thanks to the bow tie. We still aren’t sure what aspect of the bow tie causes such a primal rage to rise up on the Jeopardy! stage, but there’s no doubt that something supernatural is happening.
We hope that you will take the Bow Tie Rule out into the world and spread the good news we offer. It can only last so long before it becomes overexposed and every contestant begins wearing a bow tie, so try to get in on the ground floor by starting now. Trust me, this system is full-proof, I came up with it myself.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood who likes to hover in the corner of your room, just out of eye shot. You’ll turn your head to see me, but I won’t be there. Just know that I am still watching.