Hey there, Internet. Get ready for another Cory rant. Per usual, I am dictating this to you live from my main form of transportation, the best form in my opinion, the bicycle. Today I am going to be speaking at you about something I am very passionate about, something that has become rampant in our society that must come to an end as soon as possible. I’m talking, of course, about stop sign etiquette. As a cyclist, I see way too much shenanigans at stop signs to be silent any longer. It’s pushed me so far as to ask the question, how is it my fault that you don’t understand how a stop sign works?

Here’s the scenario, every single time: you hit the brakes and pull up to the stop sign. At close to the exact same time, another vehicle pulls up to your left or right. You both look at each other as if to say, “No, you go ahead.” But sometimes things get lost in translation. I start to pedal my way across the intersection, only to see the Honda Accord release the brakes and start to eek forward. What is that all about? I was there first, damn it.

I really can’t even express the rage that this creates within me. It is insatiable.

If I have to swerve out of the way or almost flip over my handle bars hitting the brakes one more time, I sweat I am going to lose it on a motorist and you can’t hold me responsible for what happens after that. What happens next. I’ve been taking self defense classes for years, it’s time for me to go on the offensive.

I just don’t understand why I have to wait precious seconds of my life stalling in the middle of the lane because someone else is too greedy to wait an extra 5 seconds before moving forward? Get out of here.

Stop sign intersections in parking lots are even worse, I swear. If I get in an accident, it’s going to happen at one of those damn “entering cars don’t stop” three-ways. Those things were designed by a psychopath.

Just, leave me alone on my bike, OK? That’s all I ask. I’m not even asking for much. I could be asking to just blow through stop signs, which I think I should be able to do, but nooooo. Ugh. Rude.

This was written by Nathan Ellwood after hours, so forgive any spelling or what have you. Follow him @NPEllwood.