The time has come, the season is here, rejoice ye ghouls, rejoice! Today is October 1st and over the course of the next month we are going to deliver the spookiest content you have ever seen. Starting off this month of monsters, we have a fun little quiz for you to see exactly how into the season of sin you truly are. We call it, How Spooky Are You? Just answer the questions as quickly and as honestly as you can and we’ll do the rest. Don’t be alarmed when you hear skittering on the rooftop late at night next week, that’s just us delivering your results. Let’s begin.
Question 1: You’re walking down a foggy lane out in the country. You come across a shrouded figure emerging from the mist. What do you do?
A) Greet the figure emerging from the mist, for it is your Father.
B) Put on your own shroud, protecting this potential new friend from seeing your face, giving you both a secret to share.
C) Shout “Interloper!” before throwing your shoe at them and running.
D) Present to them the special rock you always carry with you. Don’t worry, you always find another one.
Question 2: You receive a letter from a relative you have never heard of, asking you attend the reading of a will for a recently deceased grandfather you have never met. How do you proceed?
A) RSVP an enthusiastic “Yes!” and begin shopping for your most austere dowager outfit.
B) Perform a quick Google search to see if their net worth is listed. Anything less than a small fortune and it’s a no from you. You know that the more wealth they have, the more drama there will be.
C) Purchase a special pair of shoes for the occasion with knives for the heals. A stiletto stiletto if you will.
D) Show up in all black and if you still aren’t the most goth person there, starting weeping uncontrollably until you get what you want.
E) Go to the grave of the supposed grandfather and ask his ghost what to do.
Question 3: Given the option to enjoy eternal life, say through a magical spell or the bite of a vampire perhaps, how would you spend your endless days to pass the time?
A) Haunt a graveyard. A classic.
B) Get into politics. Chaotic evil, eh? Fair enough.
C) Move out into the woods and spend your time making friends with wild animals and farming the local flora. Get to know a water goddess or two. Throw some garden parties. Soak it all in.
D) Seeking revenge against the person who gave you eternal life. Saucy this one.
E) Practice until you are really good at the cello. Like philharmonic good. Then just enjoy the life of luxury that would provide, we assume.
Question 4: Final chance to prove yourself to Dracula himself. How are you spending this Halloween?
A) Partying with friends, enjoying conversation, and dressing up like the Hot Priest from the critically acclaimed and Emmy-award-winning television series Fleabag.
B) Gathering bones.
C) Digging a trench (or moat) around your home or apartment. Sure, it violates almost every build code, but you deserve to carve yourself off from the world in those medieval fashion imaginable. You do you, girlfriend. Plus, you won’t have to deal with those pesky trick-or-treat-ers.
D) Going to the ghoul fest at the park near your house. It’s always a ghoul fest down there.
E) Raising pumpkins from the dead.
And that’s it, that’s all we need to tell you whether or not you are spooky. Like we mentioned earlier, your results will be delivered soon by our team of trained cat burglars.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes you are ready for a very spooky month.