New Startup Claims it Can Digitally Upload Your Consciousness After Death, But Only Into Minecraft


Silicon Valley, the birthplace of Mark Zuckerberg, has always been on the cutting edge of the bizarre and the strange. Lately, we’ve been letting them get away with more and more, slowly pushing the bounds of what society will allow little by little. Some say this will be a slippery slope that leads into anarchy, but there’s no way it will actually be that cool. Today, a new startup has received a massive funding round that we want to bring to your attention due to how far it pushes the envelope. Apparently, this company called MinedBrain is launching a product next year which would allow customers to digitally upload their consciousness after death. Unfortunately, there’s a catch.


Apparently, according to the companies website, the only system that has been designed at this point that can handle a human consciousness is the popular video game Minecraft. Due to this, the startup is just running with it and gearing all of your marketing towards people who play Minecraft as their target demographic. Here’s what CEO Han Trembli had to say.


“We are offering something that people have been searching for literally since the dawn of time: certainty about your post-conscious life. I mean, isn’t that what all religions are talking about? I wouldn’t know, I’m not allowed inside any churches. Think about it. Rather than just hoping there is something after you breathe your final breath, wouldn’t you rather be absolutely guaranteed that you will end up in Minecraft? And for our customers, that certainty is well worth the price.”


Which brings us to the next ridiculous part of this story: the price. According to their website, there are three different tier options you can choose from – vanilla, survival, and creative. Vanilla offers a relatively easy, peaceful post-life of farming, gardening, and breeding cows for just $500,000. Survival ups the difficulty, making it so that you actually have a challenge and purpose in your post-life world for only $750,000. And finally, for a cool mil, you can go creative in your digital soul playground and basically live as a god forever.


Currently valued at 2 billion dollars, it’s clear that there is almost nothing that will stop MinedBrain from fulfilling their mission and launching the ghosts of our mortal shell straight into an infinity eternity of Minecraft. What has the world come to.


Hopefully they’ll find their first customer soon.





This was written by Nathan Ellwood of the woodland realm.


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