(St. Louis, MO) Despite millennials best attempt to destroy the industry, going out to eat is still a large part of people’s lives and chain restaurants are flourishing like never before. Over the last several months, we have been interviewing restaurant managers all across the country to find out the kinds of things they do to keep business booming in a tough economy. On a stop in St. Louis, we met the most fascinating person during one of our interviews. So interesting, in fact, that we cancelled the rest of our tour and spent the rest of our trip focusing on one man. Meet Sid Benson, the Applebee’s manager who loves wearing shorts on the job.

Sid’s obsession was apparent to us from the minute we sat down with him. You see, while he was wearing a traditional blazer and button-down, he was also sporting some shorts as well. As we took a seat at the back of his restaurant, we couldn’t help but feel an odd sensation of moistness enveloping us the further we went in. But that’s pretty much always been my Applebee’s experience, so I don’t think that was unique to this location.

“Oh yeah,” Sid responded when we mentioned his shorts. “I’m a big shorts guy. That’s my favorite part about working here at Applebee’s, no one cares about my shorts.” We spent the rest of the interview going through our questionnaire, but we kept coming back to the shorts over and over. Afterwards, back at our hotel we decided individually that we were going to stay a little bit longer with Sid to get the full story. That was 6 weeks ago and we’re still in St. Louis.

Over the next few weeks, we watched Sid at work and monitored his behavior incredibly closely to see exactly how important the shorts were to his job performance. We were enamored with the way he carried himself around the establishment, greeting customers and giving orders. It was clear that the shorts were making him better at his job. We could hardly believe it.

“I am so glad to work here and I really hope that your study of my shorts attitude makes a larger difference. I highly doubt that it will, but if even one other person feels better about wearing shorts to work, my job will be done.”

We are now putting together a report to send to various chain restaurant CEOs, showing them with clear empirical evidence that making their managers wear shorts will improve efficiency and customer satisfaction tenfold. Bitcoin isn’t the future, its shorts.