Who Forgot to Refill the Brita Pitcher? Oh Wait It Was Me


Hey y’all, I was just in the kitchen cleaning some things up and I came across something that I think needs discussing. First of all, I want to say that I love the community we have built here. I couldn’t ask for a better eighteen roommates to share this house with and I want to say that I respect you all. Second of all, I know that we all go through things and I know that not everyone can always contribute to the chore chart. But guys, I keep going to fill my water bottle and the Brita pitcher just continues to come up empty. Who forgot to refill it? Oh god I just remembered it was me.


I’m sorry, I just can’t seem to understand where my mind has gone. I swear I put that pitcher back in full to the brim. But now it’s not even filling up more than a dixie cup. I saw it in my mind’s eye. Where has my mind gone?


I’m looking at the Brita pitcher right now, watching the water pour through. I fill it up up up and put it back in the fridge. I immediately open the door to see if the pitcher remains full, only to find it drained again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.


Maybe this is the reason why I can’t hold onto things. Maybe this is why love falls through my fingers like the slime of time. Maybe this is what the ending will feel like. Maybe I need to stop drinking water to prove a point. Maybe I am lost already. Maybe the sea will consume me.


My promise to you, dear roommates, is to try my best. It’s possible that this is only happening to me, but it is possible that the Brita pitcher is cursed and could affect other parts of the house. What if it spreads to the washer and dryer? What if I end up poisoning the water supply? What if there is no more purity left?


I am losing my mind. I am losing my sense of space. I am losing my sense of time. I am staring at the Brita pitcher and it’s slowly draining. My time in life is slowly draining.


Oh, it looks like there is a hole in the bottom. Simple solution, simple life.


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