2020 has fully and unequivocally arrived, there’s no denying it. So far, it’s been a pretty wild ride and I know that personally, I am looking for something calm and familiar to help me realign my perspective and push forward. Thankfully, I have come up with a couple of things to help you do exactly this. First, I want everyone to know that 2020 is the Year of the Rat according to the Chinese zodiac. Depending upon your opinion of rats, this can seem good or bad. There’s only one way to know for sure. Which brings us to step two, something familiar: zodiac signs. Based on your zodiac, we can tell you exactly how your year will go. So why dilly dally? Let’s get to it.
Aries. March 21 – April 19. Your passion and your temperament are well suited for a year full of mischief and rodents. Be careful though, you are no god. And no ones knows this better than the rats.
Taurus. April 20 – May 20. As a Taurus, you are incredibly grounded. As in, in the ground. As in, covered in rats and worms. As in, you’ve fully ascended when it comes to the Year of the Rat and the sun shines upon you this day.
Gemini. May 21 – June 20. You love relationships with other people, Gemini. But beware the rat king, for too many people, or rats, tied together can be a problem.
Cancer. June 21 – July 22. As mysterious as the ocean itself, the rats know you better than you know yourself. Listen to them this year if you want to be successful. Even the smallest rodents can have the biggest impact.
Leo. July 32 – August 22. While your self-awareness makes you who you are, you still need to let that go from time to time in order to live. Remember the rat mantra: I am dirt and dirt doesn’t do much.
Virgo. August 23 – September 22. As a Virgo, you are deeply connected with reality, but that won’t stop Ratatouille-esc things from happening to you consistently this year.
Libra. September 23 – October 22. Analytical and intellectual, you don’t like the rat, but you like the concept of the creature. You know that rats have toppled entire kingdoms, but you think that you are special. You think that you won’t succumb like the millions before you. You are wrong, of course, but it doesn’t hurt you to believe.
Scorpio. October 23 – November 21. Constantly secretive, as a scorpio, you don’t tell people that you are actually 200 rats in a trench coat.
Sagittarius. November 22 – December 21. Always ready for the action, your year will mainly be spent running from it. Crisis after crisis will befall you, but none of it will truly prepare you for what lies in the dark depths of the unknown future. Better learn, and quick.
Capricorn. December 22 – January 19. Loyal to a fault, you will work for the rats without much thought. It will seem natural to you, this course of events, like it was always destined to happen. But no, it was something else that caused this. This wasn’t always destiny, this was something we created.
Aquarius. January 20 – February 18. Can we give you some advice for a minute, Aquarius? You have a rat on you and we’re not going to tell you where. Isn’t fun to be on the other side, huh?
Pisces. February 19 – March 20. You deserve more, but the rats don’t understand that.
So go out, live your life, and have a ratful New Year!