A Day in the Life of Tony Hawk in the Year of Our Lord 2020

Tony-Hawk-Portrait_1

In honor of our 900th anniversary of being in print here at Eritas Daily, today we are going to highlight someone in our world who will always be associated with the number 900. If you don’t know why, please find out. But, as we all know, Tony Hawk has been cursed by an unknown entity and for years has been one of the least recognized celebrities out there. Even though his name is synonymous with skateboarding, people are constantly not believing him when he tells them exactly who he is. Hoping to shed further light on the subject, we say down with Mr. Hawk to hear what life is like for the legend in The Year of Our Lord 2020.

 

Eritas Daily Correspondent: Thank you so much for sitting down with us, Mr. Hawk. We’re huge fans.

 

Tony Hawk: Of course, I see this as an opportunity to clear some things up about my life so that hopefully I can return to it. And please, call me Tony.

 

EDC: Oh, sure thing Toby-I mean Tony. Sorry. So, tell us, what is a day in the life Tony Hawk like?

 

TH: It’s bizarre, I think that’s really the only way to describe it. I walk around my neighborhood, to the store, etc. in order to get my daily needs met and people everywhere stare at me in recognition. But then, when they go to say my name or where they know me from, they draw a blank. They stare and stare while I wait for them to finish bagging my groceries, but the bell never rings. I end up bagging my own groceries and when possible I go for the self-checkout to avoid this, but it still happens all the time.

 

EDC: Why do you think this is? Surely Tony Hawk is still a household name and most people have at least seen your picture once or twice. Why can’t they place you?

 

TH: I guess my name became so ubiquitous, no one imagines they’ll actually run into me. When you put me in the context of skateboarding, it’s like ‘Sure, Tony is likely gonna be there.’ and that makes sense to people. But find me pumping gas? Forget about it. Sometimes I am not sure whether it’s due to the insane flooding of new faces in celebrity culture in recent years or because a witch put a curse on me to never be recognized. Most of the time I think the ladder.

 

EDC: A witch?

 

TH: Yeah, I’ve never told anyone this, but just after landing my first 900 I was approached by an old woman in an alley the night after. She gave me an apple that I of course ate because I didn’t want to be rude, but ever since, it seems like no one can see my face and think ‘Tony Hawk.’ Most of the time they just think ‘skateboard guy’ and don’t get further than that.

 

EDC: Have you tried to get it undone? Is there anything that can be done?

 

TH: Nope. Trust me, I’ve looked. So everyone, if you can, please forget my face and never talk to me again. I’m just gonna keep doing my tricks and hanging with my family. I encourage you to do the same.

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