Nation’s Youth Unknowingly Being Prepared for Interstellar Space Travel


Bored at home with the kids? Believe it or not, this is actually a good thing. Sure, it’s smart to protect your kids from the deadly virus taking the world by storm, but that’s not what we are talking about. Here’s the deal, by the time your children are old enough to experience the boredom of being stuck at home like an adult, there likely won’t be a home for them to live in that exists on Planet Earth. Instead, they will likely be bored on a long-distance, interstellar space flight to humanity’s last hope. This is not meant to be a discouragement! You just need to lean in to preparing them for what the future holds.


We know that right now this may not seem important, but if you are going to be bored with them at home, might as well have it serve a purpose, right? And if you don’t think space flight is boring, you need this more than anyone.


So, how do you do this? Other than making sure your kids have some hobbies that can sustain their attention for long bouts of solitude, there are a few other areas you’ll want to make sure they are familiar with before you are gone and they are stuck on a space ship with Anne Hathaway. More on that later.


First, some tips.


1. Focus on nap time. Naps, often called the Long Nap, are essential in space. Get your kids into naps now to prepare them in advance!


2. Make sure they understand how wormholes work. This will involve a pencil, a piece of paper, and your imagination. Do this every day so that they can recite from memory the classic speech from every sci-fi movie ever made.


3. Tell them that you love them as much as you can. This will keep them safe and warm in the cold black void of space. Plus, why not, right?


4. Make the worst granola bars possible for a snack. Food is pretty limited in space and the options won’t be good, so by making the worst possible snacks you can think of, they will be pleasantly surprised when the time comes to eat their space snacks.


By the time we can travel through space at these speeds, your children will be leading the way forward for all of humanity. We likely won’t even have a president by that point, so this is just about the best thing you can hope for for your kid’s future.


Remember: the best thing you can do during this time of crisis is prepare for the next one. Good luck!


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