Report: Everyone in Zoom Call Thinking About Eating a Crunchwrap Supreme

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From the outside looking in, nothing looks amiss. In fact, in these unprecedented times with Zoom calls becoming the norm, this call looks almost identical to any other video call you may have been a part of or seen in the last few months. However, we have gained insider information that this Zoom call is anything but ordinary. While each of the callers are participating in the call and even contributing thoughtful ideas, none of them are fully present. Where have their minds wandered away to, you may wonder? To the delicious Taco Bell treat that is the Crunchwrap Supreme of course.

 

That’s right, the Zoom call we are reporting on today is entirely made up of people who are not only out of it in terms of the meetings’ actual purpose, but they are all thinking about the same thing. Even as the terms ‘restructuring’ and ‘layoffs’ are uttered by the meeting leader, no one can think of anything but the delicious cheesy center of a Crunchwrap.

 

When we caught up with a few participants after the call, we asked if they even knew what the meeting was about. “It seemed like a pretty typical meeting,” one told us before quickly trying to get off the call. “Sorry, I need to get onto my next meeting. It’s uh, a lunch meeting you could say.”

 

“Yeah, I took notes, but when I looked back at them all I had written was ‘All Subway and no Bell makes Daniel a dull boy.’ I don’t even remember writing that once, much less fifty consecutive times, but I guess that was what we discussed. And it’s true, I do need more Bell in my life.”

 

The wildest thing about this entire scenario is that there doesn’t seem to be a definitive reason why everyone’s minds wandered in this direction. Everyone told us they thought about eating this specific menu item completely independently of others.

 

“I can’t even remember the last time I had one,” another meeting member told us. “Just something about being in the meeting room had me craving a Crunchwrap and now it’s all I can think about.”

 

Even the leader of the meeting was distracted by the tasty concept of digging into a C-wrap. “I went into that meeting expecting a bloodbath, what with the layoffs and everything, but no one batted an eye. Or at least, I don’t think they did. By the time I got to that part of the conversation my stomach was rumbling and my mind was fully gone. I just hope everyone remembers what was said on Monday.”

 

Only time will tell.

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