Every single year, without fail, there is a new office trend that captures the minds of mid-level managers and administrators everywhere. From open concept to ‘what if everything was angled?’ to Marie Kondo, there has been something for just about everyone. Unfortunately, like most trends, after a few months everyone grows tired of the new way of doing things and begins to look for the next trend to latch onto. This is exactly why today we are going to show you how to achieve Feng shui at your office. I mean, why chase the trends when Chinese physicists got it right centuries ago?

Let’s get started.

Your first step is obvious – pull everything out of your office. You can’t start from scratch if you are trying to make adjustments within a working office. No, you need to reset your entire office by removing furniture, employees, and anything else that takes up floorspace. From here, you are already on a better path to finding your balance.

Next up, you want to attune yourself to the nature around you. Depending on where you work, this might be difficult, but regardless you should be able to find some kind of nature to base your interior design decisions on. Even if it is a group of grackles circling your parking lot, that’s better than nothing. Trust us, listen to the grackles and they will guide you to just the right love seat for the break room.

Once you are done talking with the birds/trees/ancient deities near to your office, you will be well on your way to finding the inner peace you have always been searching for. But right now, just take solace in knowing that you are doing it. You are doing the damn thing.

Now, this is where things begin to get a little bit odd, so pay attention and trust that we know what we are talking about. OK, so the next step is to allow nature to reclaim your office furniture. You know, the stuff you dragged out into the parking lot in step one? Yeah, you need to leave that in the parking lot (or better yet a deep dark forest) for at least 16 months. This way you can make sure that both the furniture and nature are in sync and ready for you to achieve the feng shui you have always wanted.

And you will have. By abandoning your office for over a year and dumping all of the furniture into a creek, you definitely won’t have your job anymore, but you will have feng shui, you will have balance, you will have peace. Enjoy that for yourself and never look back.

And bam! There you have it.