BREAKING: 2020 Texas State Fair Cancelled After Journalists Uncover Problematic Tweets from Big Tex

(Fair Park, TX) In the most 2020 meaning of the word, the upcoming State Fair of Texas has been cancelled due to concerns about Covid-19 and, more prominently, a series of recently uncovered Tweets made by the star of the fair, Big Tex. “It’s a disappointment to say the least,” said Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson at the press conference announcing the decision. “As a young kid growing up in the north Texas area, I looked up to Big Tex. To find out who he really was and what he really thought about people like me, well, it’s a lot to process. Maybe we should have just let him go when the fire took him.”


In order to better understand how the loss of the fair and its signature icon are affecting the nearby area, we caught up with a few business owners and die-hard fair-heads to hear what they had to say about this decision.


“Who doesn’t have a few problematic Tweets in their past?” announced Jim-Bone Stevens, a BBQ Food Truck owner. “I mean, I certainly do, and I would delete them, but then I wouldn’t have any customers. Oh.”


“Big Tex is bigger than the cancel culture moment we are in,” another fair-head told us who asked to remain anonymous. “I remember when I was just a wee lass living in the sand wastes of West Texas when I was suddenly covered by a dark cloud. Or so I thought. It turned out to be the shadow of a young Big Tex who was making his way through the desert in search for his new home. Thankfully, with my help, I would show him Dallas and his final true home. He never hurt me, so why would he say those things? It’s gone too far.”


“If there is no Big Tex, what is the damn point? All of my t-shirts are Big Tex themed, as are all of my mugs, and coasters, and what am I gonna do with this shit? No one will want it if the fair doesn’t happen. Believe me.”


Thankfully, we have hard-working journalists who can find any Tweet in seconds but don’t know how to not enable white supremacists. What a world. If it wasn’t for them, maybe we would have a State Fair and Big Tex could retire gracefully, but no. Instead, he must be destroy in disgrace.

My opinion? Light him up again.

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