Kanye West, Elon Musk Launch New Joint Venture to ‘Disrupt Time’

“What’s up, YouTube? It’s me, Elon Musk, here with my good friend Kanye West,” is how the video begins. Without pausing for you to comprehend what you’re seeing, it continues. “Now, the reason that Ye and I are teaming up today is because of something near and dear to our hearts. We’ve both been hanging out, talking, discussing different ideas about the world, and we both realized that what has been missing from our daily lives is a new way of organizing time. You see-Well, actually, I’ll let Kanye take it from here.”


“You’ve seen what Kanye’s mind can do with 24 hours. Now imagine what he could do with 25,” Kanye followed with, after a pause just a few seconds too long, as if he had missed his queue.


“Yes, that’s exactly it. We are going to completely change the calendar, the workweek, and most importantly, the way we view time. Let’s take a walk into my foyer where we have been working on our plans. Keep in mind that you are about to see two geniuses at work.”


As the two men walk through the house with the camera following, in the distance you can hear the sound of a baby crying and at one point, Musk brushes off what appears to be a very distraught Grimes, although the camera cuts away just before you see her face.


When the camera enters the foyer, you see exactly what Musk was referring to as the walls of the area have been painted over with marker, containing the competing ramblings of two writers.


“This is where the magic happens,” Musk says in the video, gesturing to the entire room around him. “Who could come up with this other than Ye and myself? No one, that’s who.”


“That’s right, Elon. Only someone with Big Brain Syndrome like you and I could dream up something as cool as this. Tell them how it works.”


“Thanks, Kanye. Right back at you. Come over here real quick and zoom in on this part of the wall. Do you see that?” As he says this, Musk gestures to a large section of wall covered in formulas, with the final one simply saying ‘More Time = More Money.’ “It’s so simple. We realized that the more time there is, the more time you have to work. So, why not give the American people more time?”


“And not just Americans,” Kanye clarified. “This is for everyone. But obviously we gotta start somewhere.”


“Right, of course. And here’s the best part – you get to decide what to do with your extra time. Some will choose (or be encouraged) to use their time to work, but the vast majority of people can simply use their time to better their lives.”


With that, the video abruptly ends and points you to a website titled ‘MoreTime.com’ that basically reiterates everything discussed in the video.


At press conference later that day, we decided to ask a question that had been on our minds since we saw the video. “But how does it actually work? Where does the time come from?” We were immediately removed from the premises and told not to return.


Experts have already valued this joint venture at $3.5 billion.

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