Oscars Recap: ‘Holes’ Awarded Best Picture Despite Being Released 18 Years Ago

(Hollywood, CA) This last Sunday, it was the biggest night in Hollywood and all of the stars were out to celebrate their achievements in film. We are of course talking about The Oscars. Unsurprisingly, this year was a unique show with filming delays, production halts, and lack of theatrical releases from the previous year due to Covid-19. However, there were still enough films to make the race for best picture interesting. From Chloe Zhao’s vision in Nomadland to the heart-wrenching story of Darius Marde’s Sound of Metal, it was clear that the Oscars were choosing films that appealed to a wide range of audiences. Even still, it’s clear now that no-one truly saw the events of last night coming.

If you didn’t watch the show, the evening was coming to an end and best picture was about to be announced when a serious looking gentleman in a nice tux emerged from backstage to swap out the envelopes with the winners just seconds before they were read aloud. As the presenters made a joke about the ‘shoestring budget’ of the show to laughter, they opened the envelope and let out a small gasp. They then caught their breath before announcing, “And the winner for best picture is… Holes. Is that right?”

Before anyone could react, the entire cast of the 2003 movies Holes along with author Louis Sachar‎ took the stage to accept their award while the camera panned around the room to reactions ranging from anger to pure elation. This latter response was mainly from the younger actors and a particularly ecstatic Bo Burnham.

“I want to start by saying thank you to The Academy,” one of the producers started to say as more people funneled in from the crowd to the stage. “I was incredibly surprised when we got the call, what with out movie coming out 18 years ago, but we are truly honored to have been chosen for this prestigious honor. Especially with such a wonderful line-up of films this year.”

People were still obviously confused, but it wasn’t until Shia LaBeouf took the stage that even the most content of the audience began to turn sour, letting out a wave of ‘boos’ as he took the stage with his cast-mates. The cameras cut to Frances McDormand who was seen leaving the theater and Brad Pitt who was being held back by Idris Elba and Michael B. Jordan from climbing the stage to fight Shia himself.

It was just as Pitt broke through and was launching himself at LaBeouf that the cameras were cut and the credits began to roll. As the cameramen tried to find some b-roll to put under the credits, there were shots of the stage being overrun by celebrities in their best outfits, throwing hands like it was the end of the world.

Finally, after the last remaining camera was cut to black, the evening news came on to report about the hospitalizations incurred by the brawl. “Safe to say that the Oscars are back in full force,” the anchor commented. “Let’s just hope that next year we can get by without giving an award to a sexual predator. So far, we’re 0/93.”

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