The Legend of the 53rd Hurricane

Hurricane season is just around the corner and if you live in a coastal area, odds are you will spend the next several months with a hurricane go-bag stashed away for when the sirens wail. The reason we have hurricanes on the mind is that several weather agencies have come together with a warning for the upcoming season. Apparently, due to climate change and the changing patterns of both wind and water across the globe, we are in for an unprecedented amount of hurricanes and tropical storms this Summer. In fact, some are even claiming that we might be hit by the legendary 53rd hurricane that has been foretold by oracles for decades.

“While we pray this won’t be the case, we need to prepare for every possible eventuality,” explained the head scientist at the Hurricane Institute of Tampa. “As a boy, my mother told me horror stories about the 53rd. I just hoped that I would never live to see it for myself.”

For those who aren’t aware of the history of hurricanes, let us fill you in. Back in 1950, a group of scientists and warlocks decided to start naming hurricanes as a way to keep track of the annual storms and differentiate them from year to year and season to season. Going alphabetically, the hurricanes would each be given a name, starting with A and working down to Z. The storms were originally only named after women, until 1979 when that was changed.

Back then, the scientists did not believe that there could be more than 26 hurricanes in a season. It wasn’t until a particularly stormy season in 2005 that a 27th hurricane was reached and the naming convention evolved. Rather than names, the 27th and on hurricanes would be named after the Greek alphabet. For example, last year the 27th storm was named Zeta.

Which brings us back to the legend of the 53rd hurricane. As of yet, there is no naming convention for when we reach a third round of naming hurricanes and many are worried about what happens when it does. This is primarily due to an omen that was given to use by the Oracle of Fort Lauderdale in 1981.

Upon the 53rd, the trumpets will sound
The True Name of God will be revealed
And while the winds blow and the rain falls
We will experience Annihilation in its truest form

No one knows much about this oracle, but ask any meteorologist about it and they will instantly clam up, proving that they know something. It is said that the 53rd hurricane will be unlike anything we have ever seen and will swallow the world whole.

Our only hope is that this day never comes, but the National Weather Service and scientists everywhere want you to know it is a possibility. Should that day come, all we can tell you in terms of preparation is that there is no resisting forces beyond your comprehension. Give in and let the 53rd take you. Give in and let us become whole again.

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