Area Man Forgot How Much He Missed the Dehumanizing Experience of Flying

Ever since I was born, or at least for as long as I can remember, I have sympathized with sheep. I’m not sure what it is about them. Maybe it is their dumb faces as they are sheared. Or maybe it is that they always seem content, no matter where they are. But now that the pandemic is somewhat over and we have been able to travel again, I was able to realize what it is that sheep and I have in common: we love to be corralled. I didn’t realize until me recent international flight how much I missed the dehumanizing experience of flying, but there is just something so sheep-like about it that it might be my favorite thing to do.

I can tell you have a weird expression on your face right now, so let me explain.

First, the little stanchions that they have to guide you through the bag checking, TSA security, and the boarding process are something that really eases the mind. I never want to think too much about where I am walking, it makes it easier to look at my phone while I do it. Usually I am just pulling up my boarding pass, but you don’t know, I could be reading a book while in line.

Which brings me to item two, which is moving sidewalks. Possibly the greatest invention in recent memory. I honestly don’t know why these aren’t in every major city in the country. I love to walk normally and yet feel like I am going at light speed. Plus, they have railings so another instance of not having to look away from my phone.

OK – back to the sheep thing. You know how you have to board in this weird order based on nothing? I think that’s when I feel most sheepish. Like, sure, I’m the last to board even though I am sitting at the back of the plane, that makes sense. Let me just walk with my tail between my legs while everyone on the flight stares me down.

You know, as I write this, I realize that I am likely in the minority when it comes to this dehumanizing experience. I’m fine with it because I like to give my brain a break as much as possible, but for people with stronger wills than I, how do you make it through a flight? It’s a mystery to me if how you can do it if you don’t like being subjected to a complete stripping of all individualism.

But hey, that’s just me. And like I said, I’m a sheep.


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