Are you sitting down? Because what I am about to say next might blow your socks clean off and I want to make sure you are prepared. You see, I have been doing some research over the past 45 years and I have come to the conclusion that everything is not as it seems. There are forces bigger than us that are dictating the way we live, the food we eat, and the thoughts we think. You can’t always see it, but it is always there, working silently against you to pursue its own agenda. I’m, of course, referring to our government and their recent push for values such as ‘science,’ ‘the greater good,’ and worst of all, ‘truth.’ Well I am here today to tell you that ‘truth’ is a liberal agenda and you’re falling for it every day that you don’t think twice.

This all started back in the late 90s when I had my first experience with the ‘truth’ that was being sold to me while my eyes told me a different story. Bill Clinton told us that he didn’t have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky and yet, the evidence spoke for itself. I knew then that this so-called truth that had been uttered ‘under oath’ had no more credibility than my son telling me he could bench press 300 pounds. It wasn’t true then the same as it isn’t true now.

Ever since then, I have been searching for other believers who see the signs that I saw which lead me to who I am today. Thanks to the internet and primarily Facebook, that has been easier than ever. Thousands and thousands of like-minded people have been able to share their experiences and see the world for how it truly is. In fact, if you’re reading this now, there’s likely a connection between us that we haven’t even uncovered yet.

Which brings us to today in 2021, where the government is telling me one thing, but my eyes and my Facebook feed are telling me something different. I know that masks don’t work because I saw video on YouTube about it. I know that vaccines cause all sorts of problems because my neighbor told me a story about it. And I know that Donald Trump won the election because, I mean, how could he not? Yet, the government, now run by liberals, is telling me the exact opposite.

So what is truth? Because to me it seems subjective. And why is your truth better than my lived experiences? If someone can answer that for me without using the words ‘science,’ ‘evidence,’ and ‘peer-reviewed,’ than I’d be happy to meet in the middle and reach across the aisle.

Until then, I’ll continue making plans to assault the Capitol again. And this time, it won’t be those Antifa posers, it will be real Americans in search of truth.