[City, State abbr.] I know what you’re thinking: most [people group] believe that [popular, non-offensive opinion] is the only way to address [issue] in our modern world. In fact, you might think that most [people group] are supposed to believe [popular, non-offensive opinion] about [issue]. Well, I’m here to tell you that I’m an [singular member of people group] who believes [somewhat opposing, non-scandalous opinion] about [issue].
Yes, you heard me correctly: I believe [restatement of somewhat opposing, non-scandalous opinion] about [issue].
For as long as I can remember, [issue] has been an issue in our society. It first started when [baseline understanding of complex topic], and only grew once [baseline understanding of complex topic reworded]. Indeed, you might even say that [incorrect assumption about complex topic].
That’s why it might be hard for you to believe that I’m a [singular member of people group] who believes [somewhat opposing, non-scandalous opinion] about [issue]. But it’s true, and let me tell you why.
About [number] [randomly chosen unit of time] ago, I was [unrelated action to issue], and came across [thought, person, or situation still unrelated to issue]. Over the course of this [choose: reflection, conversation, or event], I came to realize that [issue] [is/is not] as simple as it is often portrayed by [people group]. It’s not a matter of [Democrats or Republicans/Christians or other religious group/random hobby or other random hobby]. It’s actually quite [simple/complicated]. It changed my worldview.
It’s time that we stop holding [popular, non-offensive opinion] about [issue]. We would all be better off if we just started believing that [somewhat opposing, non-scandalous opinion]. Trust me: the [thought, person, or situation unrelated to issue you previously came across] opened my [choose: eyes, heart, sinuses] to the larger world around me, and I’m [choose: better, better than you] for it.
[Truism that, upon brief examination, is not actually true].
This article was written by Ben Taylor, who has [never, always] been a fan of [weird or otherwise irrelevant activity]. Follow him for more on [social media website] at @therealbenshady.