The Teens Are At It Again: Presenting the 2017 Guide to Teen Text Lingo

teenage-texting

Kids these days all seem to be obsessed with their smartphones. Just look around every once in a while and you will see what I mean. Look up from your phone and notice that all the young people are wasting away looking at their little screens. Look up Deborah, look up! Words with Friends can wait!

 

Good, now back to what I was saying. This generation that we raised is going to plummet off the deep end into a world of techno sex crimes and something we only have heard referred to as “The Grime” if we are not careful. You might be asking, what can be done? Aren’t we already flooring the gas pedal straight into the Grand Canyon, triggering the Millennial Meltdown?

 

Not quite. Don’t lose faith. There is still something that can be done. We here at Eritas Daily are going to let you in on the secrets of an entire people in order for you to infiltrate their networks and bring down the world wide web that they all love so much. Destroying this addiction will surely save us all from another dark age by putting us back into the first one that was so great for everyone.

 

However, we realize that this doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun and our editorial staff has told us we need to lighten the mood on some of our pieces so we decided to make it into a game.  Tell us which of these text lingo phrases are your favorite and then we can move forward with operation Dark Age 2.

 

  • LOL: Lost Ollie’s Liver
  • JK: Jeremy Kills
  • ROFL: Recycling? Oh, Fart Louder
  • JFAD: Just Flipkick and Die
  • TOHGUL: The Orb Has Given Us Life
  • BRB: Backrubs, Raunchy Backrubs
  • LMAO: Little Men Around Ontario
  • TCOTSWNBA: The Coming Of The Suffering Will Not Be Anticipated
  • BC: Big Cockroach
  • ICYMI: Icy Clown You Miserable Idiot
  • AI: Acting Infatuated
  • CIMM: Communism Is My Mother
  • SMH: Saw My Ham
  • BTW: Build The Warrior
  • WIAEWTEEMMITSOJM: When It All Ends, When The Earth Explodes, Meet Me In The Safety Of Jupiter’s Moons

 

 

 

 

This article was helpfully compiled by Nathan Ellwood who agrees that WIAEWTEEMMITSOJM. Follow him for more @NPEllwood

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