(Grand Rapids, MI) It was a normal Tuesday evening, as it always is, and I had just gotten home from working out at the gym after work. I had just gotten cleaned up and made myself a Hot Pocket as I was settling in to watch a television show on my favorite streaming service, Netflix. I popped on the TV and scrolled up to the Netflix icon, but as I pressed ‘Go,’ instead of showing me the accounts, I was presented with a login page. “What is this bush league?” I asked aloud to my empty apartment. If Brenda had changed the password on me again, I was going to lose it.

I quickly pulled open my phone and went to a Very Old Email with the subject “Tell me what you think of Smallville.” Inside was the email and password to my friend Brandan’s family Netflix account. I consulted the page and tried typing in the old combination: LiveLaughLuv07@hotjail.com, Shak3m3d0wn. But nothing came from it. Instead, I was told that the email and password combination no longer worked.

Now, while I will concede that it was over six years ago that Brandan gave me this password, if Brenda thought she could change the password on me and not hear about it, she had another thing coming. I immediately texted Brandan and said, “Hey man, your Netflix password didn’t work. WTF.”

To which he replied, “Who’s this?” God, the nerve of that guy.

Next, I decided to send Brenda a Facebook message, asking her how she could do this to me. Brenda replied, “Oh sorry about that Craig, we had to change it after our account got hacked. Someone kept watching all of this Anime and we couldn’t figure out who. Anyways, the new email and password combination is JoyousPlague@GhoulZone.net, Fr33domPolice. Tell your family hi from me! You know, we actually saw one of your friends, you remember the Jennings family? at Church the other Sunday. It was so great to catch up. You know his grandfather recently was diagnosed with cancer? Such a shame to hear. We had a prayer circle right there. That reminds me, have you found a church in Grand Rapids? We had a friend recommend Christ the Redeemer on 8th if you have been looking. I hear the pastor is a woman. Wow! Certainly not the world I grew up in. Anyways, have you read this article on why vaccinating your kids is worse than murder?”

That was where I stopped reading the message, but there appeared to be several pages left. Wonder what she said. Oh well, she gave me the password, and now I can get back to my favorite show in the world, The Boy Who Drank the Sea.

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who prefers the original version of The Boy Who Drank the Sea. This new stuff is too commercialized. Follow him for more reviews on Twitter @NPEllwood.