In a recent interview, known actor and spiritualist Jim Carrey told the world that quote, “Everything is meaningless” unquote. We here at Eritas Daily have decided to endorse this quote, along with others such as “There is no me, there is only things happening.” Actually, let’s take it one step further, let’s make this a whole thing. Um, what’s the word? Religion? Yeah, that’s it. Let’s make a religion out of this one interview with Jim Carrey because honestly in this messed up world, it makes a weird sort of sense.
So, scratch that earlier statement. We are now officially endorsing and will soon be evangelizing about the power of Jim Carrey and his sage wisdom. In the interview, Carrey said such glorious things as “I don’t believe in personalities. I don’t believe you exist.” And the crowds heard his words, and were amazed by them and astonished by his doctrine.
Jim later went on to say that he didn’t believe in icons. He referred to them as meaningless. We are thus declaring that anyone who has icons in their house must immediately get rid of them if they have any hope of becoming a member of the Church of Carrey. Meaningless icons, meaningless things, Carrey says it is true, so truth it must be.
The media in all of their gluttony have already started to alienate Carrey from his loyal fanbase by calling his behavior “bizarre” and “existential.” I mean, yes, it is both of those things, but the way they said it was pretentious.
Look, all we are saying is to give Jim Carrey a chance. I mean, why not, right? Can’t fix the crazy world, might as well join the butchery.
Also, remember that the first step toward being a member of Careerism is by both believing you don’t exist and actually not existing. If you exist, we don’t want you!
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who does not believe that Jim Carrey is a mortal. Have you seen that guy? Not real. Follow him for more theories (not conspiracy) on Twitter @NPEllwood.