Area Man Can’t Even Remember Who He is Pretending to like The Smiths For Any More

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(San Diego, CA) Friday afternoon, San Diego resident and dental hygienist Peter Oko had a sudden realization. It was as There Is A Light That Never Goes Out came on the radio as Peter pulled out of his work that he realized he didn’t even know who he was pretending to like The Smiths for anymore. “Huh,” Peter thought to himself. “At one point it seemed to be important that I like The Smiths, but I don’t even remember who I was trying to impress. I guess I am off the hook.”

 

Peter spent the rest of his Friday in a state of constant euphoria. The world was now his and he didn’t have to pretend to like The Smiths anymore. Oh happy day!

 

By the end of Friday evening, Peter didn’t think he could ever understand his former self. It was as if he had shed his shell and emerged a new being. He was outgoing. He got four phone numbers, two for friendships and two for looking up on Instagram later. It was turning out to be a really terrific day.

 

Looking back on his life, Peter realized all of the time he had wasted listening to that whiny baby of a man. With all of this extra time on his hands, Peter might finally pick up a hobby. His therapist had told him that everyone needs a hobby, so he was glad that now he had more time to find one. His old hobby was to sit around and listen to The Smiths, get really sad, and take some hardcore naps.

 

Wow. Truly an eye-opening Friday night. Thanks for listening everyone. I think we all grew today.

 

 

 

 

 

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who loves The Smiths, but only the loud mechanical crane noises that you can hear in the background. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.

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