Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come Won’t Stop Talking About Bitcoin


(London, UK) It was Christmas Eve and the clock was about to strike three. I had already been visited by two ghosts that night, but that was pretty usual. It wasn’t until this third ghost showed up that I thought that something was up. While the first two spirits had spoken about the past and the present, this ghost chose to appear to this man in the middle of the night for a much different reason: to convince him to invest in bitcoin.


Now, I haven’t gotten into Bitcoins and blockchains because I simply regarded them as ‘nerd stuff,’ but the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come has opened my eyes to the cryptocurrency revolution. He keeps telling me that unless I invest in Bitcoin, my grave will never be visited when I die. This is a big selling point for me, as, why would I buy a big headstone carved in the shape of a dragon if no one is going to visit me? And I already put down the deposit on that.


He then went on to explain the history of cryptocurrencies in the global market, which honestly just put me right back to sleep. Once I woke back up, he went on and on and again, I fell asleep. This went on for awhile and I think he was getting frustrated with me, so I decided to change the subject and asked him about investing in gold.


This had the exact opposite effect that I was hoping for. Instead of steering the conversation for greener pastures, we entered into a very dull convo about the gold standard and how nothing, even money, has no meaning or value. It was a wild ride and I learned a lot, but then I got tired again and fell asleep for the final time.


When I woke up, my savings account had been drained and I had a few emails from asking what next steps I wanted to take. Turns out, I wasn’t visited by a third spirit last night, but simply a man who had broken into my house and convinced me in my half-waking state that his Bitcoin site was the way to become instantly rich. My decision making is notoriously bad when I am sleepy, so this one is really on me.


Turns out that I now own all Bitcoins. Yep, that’s right, all of them, thus rendering them useless. So,


A pretty good Christmas overall, 7/10.





This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who wishes you a Merry Catastrophe. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.


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