“What’s Under the Shed?” & 4 Other Questions Where the Answer is “The Slime Man”

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You enter the woods, but you are not afraid. The forest has been your friend for many years, a place for quiet reflection and brisk walks. In fact, you love the woods, for the woods has never betray you like so many friends and ex-lovers have. The woods is safe, for the most part, and you hope that it always will be. Unfortunately, all of this is an illusion. The woods is not safe and the woods is where you will meet your end. Not today, of course, but soon. Just past the tree line you come across a shed, a shed you have never seen before. You wonder to yourself, “What’s under the shed?” but deep in your heart, you already know the answer.

 

“The Slime Man,” says a whisper on the breeze, and you know it is true.

 

Not the curious type, you avoid the shed and keep moving deeper into the forest. A bold choice. Soon, you come across a decomposing tree that is more dead than alive, yet somehow caught in a limbo between either option. The rot is palatable and you wish you hadn’t just had a spicy jalapeño, because your nose is ripe for sniffing. “What’s killing the forest?” you think to yourself.

 

Again, a whisper that feels as if it is just steps behind you whispers, “The Slime Man.”

 

Now you are starting to wonder why you came into the woods on such a foggy day, for you are having trouble seeing even a few steps in front of you. You decide to press on and after walking for a few hundred yards, you make it to the crest of a hill. On the other side you enter an area of the woods unlike any you have seen before. Each of the trees is the black of obsidian, shimmering with a metallic glean. The forest floor is nothing but ash. Every step you take is gooey and wet, leaving you to wonder whether this is still a forest or some sort of bog. “Where has this come from? What kind of creature can create such a goo?”

 

As the third whisper reaches your ears, you begin to slide into the goo underneath you at an alarming race. You are now aware that you have gone too far and soon find the forest has disappeared from view. You now find yourself in a dank cave just below the surface. The cave is as gooey as the floor had been, but on all sides. Just ahead of you in the shadows is a figure you can’t quite make out, but before you ask “Who are you?” you already know.

 

What once was a whisper has now become a screech, “The Sliiiiime Maaaan!”

 

Unsure of what to do, you turn your back to the figure in the dark and make a run for it. Soon, however, you realize how foolish this was, as you trip over the debris that is trapped in the caves’ goo. From behind you comes an ungodly, unnatural sound and you feel yourself being pulled with a strength you had not anticipated. As you plunge into the open maw of the beast, you scream “Save me! Someone save me! Is there anyone out there?”

 

The words echo off of the silent cave walls as you are lost to history and the goo. A few seconds later comes the haunting response, but there are no longer ears in the above or below to hear it. “The Sliiiiiime Man.”

 

 

 

 

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who knows better than to leave his house. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.

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