What started off as a fun talk-show bit took a dark turn last Thursday night when Jimmy Fallon was reportedly hospitalized for ingesting a Tide pod. As part of his ongoing prank war with Jennifer Lawrence, Fallon had challenged her to a Tide pod-off. In this competition, both him and Lawrence would be given ten Tide pods, whoever could eat the most in 60 seconds was declared the winner. Pretty simple, right? Well, no one could have predicted that Jimmy, one who is always up for tomfoolery, would eat not only all of his own Tide pods, but J-Laws as well. Unfortunately, this prank, like most Jimmy Fallon pranks, ended with three hospitalizations.
The first hospitalization was, obviously, Jimmy Fallon, who needed to have his stomach pumped and blood transfused after pulling an “awesome prank” and ingesting 20 Tide pods. “Once I got a taste, I couldn’t stop,” Fallon told reporters. “I’d do it again. All in the name of the show, right?”
Ironically, Fallon’s show has been cancelled the last few nights due to this incident. Jennifer Lawrence, his usual fill-in, was unable to host due to her “exhaustion” from dealing with “stress” about her “friend” Jimmy being in the hospital. Apparently, this means she is now sitting on a beach somewhere enjoying her life. How dare she! The show must go on, damnit.
Now, who were the other people hospitalized? Well, believe it or not, Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham were standing just off stage, waiting to see Jimmy’s prank unfold. As part of the BFF squad, Dunham and Schumer were in on the idea and thought the whole thing was going to be hilarious. Boy were they wrong.
As soon as Jimmy swallowed the 20th tide pod, you could tell that he was feeling rough. Doing her part to jump into a situation no one expected or wanted her to be a part of, Dunham ran on stage and asked him how he was doing. “You ate a lot of those dishwasher gummibears. Maybe you need to sit down? I could tell you a story about my last trip to the farmer’s market.”
“Oh Lena,” was all Fallon could say before falling to the floor in a seizure-like state. In a state of utter chaos that shortly ensued, both Schumer and Dunham had been hurt. However, neither of them could quite explain where their bruises and torn clothing had come from, with some of the cast believe that they had hurt themselves as a form of solidarity with Fallon. Either way, they both went to the hospital too, even though no one had invited them.
It is still too early to say what will come from this, but we wish everyone, especially Jennifer Lawrence, a speedy recovery.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who prefers coffee. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.