Oh thank god, I feared the worst. It seems that we have survived another week. The Garbage Ghoul came and went in the night, leaving a mess behind him as he so often does. Thankfully this mess did not come at the cost of human life, as is becoming the case more and more often these days. One day I dream of living in a country where children can grow up without fearing the Garbage Ghoul, but that is not our current reality. Each week he must be satiated and each week we must thank the lord for protecting us from that gluttonous maw. We have done it again my friends, rejoice!
Remember also that we will be having a quick post-garbage day ice cream social in the community garden this evening. Please bring flavors other than vanilla, chocolate, and Rocky Road so that we don’t have a repeat of last month’s fiasco.
We would also like to take this time to remind all citizens that we are safe during the rest of the week, so just go about your business. It is only garbage day that we must fear the awful Ghoul and his deviant ways.
Enjoy the time you have, my children, enjoy it. For the Ghoul comes for all eventually.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who loves ghouls. Loves ’em! Follow him for more ghoul humor @NPEllwood on Twitter.