(Brattleboro, VT) The alarm goes off per usual. You wake up 20 minutes late per usual. You drink your morning 5 hour energy per usual. You take your dog for a walk before leaving for work, but this part of your routine turns out to anything but “per usual.” As you round the second corner of your block, you beautiful little pup makes eye contact with another dog across the street. You had not been paying close attention and have thus been caught off guard, realizing just in time that you needed to tighten the leash. In that moment you experienced sheer panic, and for good reason, for your life was about to change.

 

As your Owner Vision kicks into place, you realize the dog that your beloved pooch is now barking at is anything but ordinary. No, you can tell right away that this is a bona fide hellhound, straight from the pits of hades. With each bark, the hound spews a wisp of fire that sizzles the nearby bush.

 

You then realize that the person walking this dog is just north of peculiar as well. Dressed in a long black coat, the being appears to have no gender. In fact, your first guess might be that this being is of the ancient ones and does not abide by our current societal laws. Covering their face is a wide brimmed hat with an embossed sigil of unknowable origins.

 

Unsure of what to do next and quite honestly petrified, you begin to pull on your dog’s leash. Your dog who, by the way, is currently trying its best to fight the hellhound in the street. Although it would be brutal, it might also be cool. No, you’re right, that’s ludicrous. What was I thinking?

 

So you pick up your dog and run. And the ancient one and the hellhound, they do not chase you. No, they simple watch you run. After you feel you have reached a safe distance you look back to see if they have followed, but they stand stoic where you left them.

 

Feeling a sudden wave of relief, you turn to exit the scene and return to your street. However, as you turn you bump into an enormous figure. As you back away and prepare to apologize, you realize the figure is the being you just left down the road who has materialized in front of you.

 

The hulking figure grasps you by the shoulder. The being does not speak aloud, but you understand it perfectly somehow anyway. It says to you “Treat me like one of your own and one day you might see oblivion.”

 

You feel empty and swallowed. You do not know where to go. You fall to the ground and your dog nudges you along. The being and the hellhound leave you be to contemplate their meaning. Your panic returns in waves, in waves. You feel as though you might not make it.

 

But then you remember your dog, and everything feels okay.

 

 

 

 

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who would like to give a special shoutout to Murphy. Hey bud, if you’re reading this, well first, impressive, because you are a dog. We could make millions. We’ll talk later. But more importantly, I love you. Be a good dog, ok? A very good dog. A sweet sweet dog. (Too much?) Annnyway follow him on Twitter @NPEllwood.