Thursday, February 22, was one for the books as two ships intercepted one another’s paths in the dead of night.
“We were following the stars as per usual,” says captain Jiminy Cricket of the good ship Geppetto’s Fellow. “And, completely out of nowhere, we see her approaching from the distance.”
“To be honest, we were completely lost and en route to Caracas, Venezuela, but we overshot it by twenty-something leagues,” commented Jonah Worthy, captain of the well ship Monstro. “My crew was tired and hungry. And, would you believe it, Jiminy’s crew only had Smuckers Uncrustables and decaf coffee.”
When asked about these rationings, Jiminy had a clear answer: “From the start, we knew Uncrustables would see us through. About the coffee: One of our crew members was on a caffeine detox when we set sail. We weren’t going to let him go it alone.” He paused. “Did Jonah mention we had sourdough loaves too?”
“I have celiac. So, no. There wasn’t anything for me on their ship.” Jonah admitted that the rest of his crew partook in the portions Geppetto’s Fellow could spare.
Overall, Jiminy and Jonah both showed concerns about their passages overlapping.
“Don’t tell Jonah, but we’ve been on their tail for months—barely out of reach. We’d planned on cutting ahead of them without contact, but their crew showed obvious signs of dehydration,” said Jiminy.
When asked how Jiminy was able to draw such conclusions, he confessed that they’d “been spying on them through our nocs.” Or, binoculars.
In truth, Jonah seemed humbled but truly disheartened by the experience. It’s easy to empathize with his pursuit of isolation. The collective vastness of five oceans made this dream possible, even legendary, for centuries. But, much like our own dreams, that ship has sailed.
The crews soon split ways, heading in opposite directions. Jiminy left us with these parting words: “Next time we dock, I’ll pick up some gluten-free snacks. Maybe some low-sodium potato chips! You know—just in case.”
This article was written by Holly Ratcliff, who was once a sailor upon the seas of destiny. Holly studied poetry at Texas State University. Her literary research is available through the Texas State Undergraduate Research Journal: “‘Too much water hast thou, poor Ophelia’: An Object-Oriented Reading of Hamlet.” Twitter/Instagram: @HollytheHare