In the year 2018, many are still contemplating the great minds of previous millennium. My question is simple: why? What did those big dummies know about anything compared to me and my iPhone in the Year of our Lord 2018. I could look up why we say the Year of our Lord right now if I wanted to, but I don’t really care if we’re being honest. However, some people seem to find relevance in this endeavor, so in the interest of public interest, we are taking to the streets and finding out what philosophers have to say about things. Who knows? Maybe they will have something though-provoking to say.

 

First, the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Socrates himself. Sacrates always had a way with words and it was never more apparent than here:

1. “please bring your rats to the new castle flea market. ill be sitting in the lawn chair wearing the stolen priest outfit.” (source)

 

So meaningful. Next on our list is the man that Socrates loved and made into a better him, Carl Sagan. Carl said:

2. “so long suckers! i rev up my motorcycle engine and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates I am lying completely dead on the pavement.” (source)

 

Then there was Nietzsche, that old goof. He really hated everything and loved the Void, huh? Can relate. Here was his big puzzler from back in the day.

3. “actually stonehenge sucks and i hope someone pushes those rocks the hell over real soon.” (source) 

 

Next, the man Kant of the greater druid reign. I loved that man, but his advice will outlive me, this I know.

4. “i am selling six beautiful, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are a Burden on my life.” (source)

 

 

Finally, a more recent philosopher, Oprah, has changed lives with the following proclamation.

5.”IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL. (source)

 

It’s true, all of those people actually said those things. Wild, right? Well that’s life.

 

 

 

 

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who loves a good ol philosopher like Lakeith Stanfield. Follow him on Twitter for more @NPEllwood.