Only 90s Kids Remember the Aching Torment


(Columbus, OH) Listen, we all know it’s fun to be a part of something bigger than you. Most people devote their whole lives to a purpose that might never be fulfilled, but the act of contributing is enough. One such group that is defined by nothing more than a decade is what we like to call 90s kids. We had everything back then and ever since, all we want to do is return to the days of bike rides and Gogurts. However, there is one thing that all true 90s kids remember, and that is the Aching Torment.


Ever feel sad? Ever want to escape this world in a rocket ship and never return? Ever miss your dog? Ever try to give someone a handshake but they don’t see you, leaving you to wonder if anything is worth it at all? Every get depressed? Well, then you know the Aching Torment well.


Beginning it’s dominion over 90s kids right from the start, the Aching Torment was truly only seen in artists and other outcasts from society before the 90s. Sure, people would have ups and downs, they may even find themselves in slums of indifferent length, but only 90s kids know the true suffering that comes at the hands of Aching Torment.


Remember when times were simpler? Is ignorance truly bliss? Is the safe cocoon worth the violent truth of reality that comes after? Will this all end?


At this point, I’m honestly surprised that some big Hollywood studio hasn’t rebooted the Aching Torment for the current generation. I would be interested to see who would play the Sludge King and if Oscar Isaac would reprise his role as Jimmy Phantom. Sorry, I guess you could say that you had to bee there. Yes, that was intentional.


All I am saying is #BringBacktheAchingTorment, OK? Tweet it. Tell your friends. Etc.





This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who isn’t exactly sure either. Has this been done before? Who cares. Follow him on the thing @NPEllwood.

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