(Swampland, USA) I pride myself on enjoying the small things in life. A blueberry muffin, for instance, or the feeling of a book between my fingers, ugh. However, there is something that has risen above it all and I must tell you about it. Frogs. I am now convinced, simply from spending a few weeks amongst them, that the frogs of the world are wise beyond our wildest expectations. Not only that, but they have been trying to communicate with us for purposes unknown. We simply are not listening.

So, what can be done? Well, everyone could be a little bit more damn quiet for starters. Geez. I mean, have you ever listened the noise of our modern times? Boy. I bet pilgrims never had to wear ear plugs. What could be so loud then, other than the constant scream of every living thing? Sounds rough.

Next, legislators need to put into place mandatory listening hours for anyone living in frog proximity, which, funny enough, is close to 98% of Americans. That’s right. The frogs are always near, you simply do not notice them. You live your lives chasing notifications and I sit in the mud all day, but whom is more fulfilled. Me whom, that’s who.

Sorry, I got off topic. This is still me, a human and non-frog writing this. We must have hours of listening, everyone in the community, young and old, until we decipher the meaning of the frog’s call. Or song. We still aren’t sure. Scientists say one thing, but we don’t care. This is all based on the fact that I swear a frog was just talking to me earlier this evening. Frogs seem cool. I want to be their friends.

I will say this again: I truly believe our future depends on whether or not we can remedy this grievance with our frog brethren. In them lies our salvation. With them, we will become our dreams.

Frogs are the future and there is no going back, baby.

This article was written by Nathan Frogwood, who would like to shout out toads. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.