Who can remember their first words? Well we hope you can because we desperately need to know. Please choose your first words from this comprehensive list of the 17 first words that are allowed under the constitution. Please.

• The Gucci bag is $550
• Wonder Woman out in theaters this June
• Hypocrisy has no place in a plutocracy
• Gelatin
• Someone check his glucose levels
• The eruption was unprecedented and hundreds were displaced or killed
• Chuck Palahniuk has created a culture he sought to destroy
• Fundamentals boys, fundamentals
• Welcome to my twisted mind
• Mom
• Mother
• Goddess of life, her majesty
• Judith B. Reylonds
• Glow up on this, bitch

• Hell is empty and all of the demons are here
• Irony is a dish best served every once in a while, not often, otherwise it loses its taste.
• The true end will come only after you have lost all hope

Thank you. Your response has been recorded.

Nathan Ellwood wrote this article, but his first words are not to be told to anyone, especially Gilbert Glitterhue. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood